Reflections
(I wrote this poem one month after getting Lyme, not knowing what it was. I left a man whom I loved to go to NY. He warned me not to go because there was Lyme disease in the area. I arrived there on August 2, 2000 and got bit by a tick 2 weeks later. I have since left NY and came back to Seattle. We were together for a year and a half. Just recently, I left him after I got better. Our relationship ended abruptly and sadly) I think soulmates can be at odds, but I will always love this man in my heart.
I look up at the early, light blue sky,
Surrounded by the angelic white clouds,
I have a picture of you in my heart,
I've asked the angels to be with you today
And never leave you again.
I sit on my porch and stare
At the beauty around my soul (like we used to)
I hug you with all my tears,
And can't see through my transparent eyes.
I reflect on the revolving door of my life.
It's an illusion!
I chose that door not believing my heart
But, being afraid instead.
I may have walked through that time,
But, it was with hesitation and bitter resistance.
Now I am stuck in the door like a child,
Pounding my fist into a pillow and crying,
Not being heard.
I have been told I have an illness,
They put my head through a scan and once again,
They can't find out what is wrong with me.
I just pray that the angels will not leave me again.
I listen to the strong breeze whip through
The summer autumn sky,
Remembering me looking up to the sky above your bed.
We were so happy and alike in our spirits,
Pretending to be asleep with each other
As we held our bodies closely. Were we?
Your touch was so magical,
It's on my mind when nobody is around.
It is existing at this moment and for ten trillion more.
You knew me like the wind knows
The sky, trees, flowers and the wings of birds,
It rippled through me as it touched the roots of my soul,
As did our laughter.
I feel you are asleep now.
It is very early where you lie.
My heart of hearts feels tenderness for you.
I guess I now understand unhappy endings
Sad melancholy endings like in the movies.
As the leaves turn from green to red, where I sit
My heart of hearts will always be with you.
No matter what occurs in my life or yours.
Maybe love is eternal.
The sky is still light blue,
And there are still angelic white clouds.
The weather has changed only a little
Since I left sitting on this porch.
Nancy S. (Seattle)